Monsters and Mouthwash

by Paul Capobianco
Daniel’s BFF recounts the humble origins of Horned Melon Films

The first Horned Melon Film took place in my basement when Daniel and I were 12. 

The day began like so many others. We shot each other with Nerf Guns, crossed light sabers and fell against the judo mats set up against every surface of the room. 

Then we did something unusual. We went for a walk, and saw a horned melon – just sitting there next to the peaches like it was no big deal. To us, it resembled some kind of monster. 

When we got back to the apartment we we decided to make a film inspired by our discovery, using my dad’s VHS camcorder.

We knew the film would be violent and freakish in a mirthful sort of way because neither of us had extensive acting abilities—and, well, we were 12-year-old boys. “Special effects” and screaming were a must; so was death. 

Inspired by the horned melon, we decided the film would center around an alien virus. We used green foamy mouthwash, reminiscent of the horned melon’s squishy insides, to represent the deadly disease. So special effects were taken care of.

We learned that ACT mouthwash is milder and easier to hold in the mouth than other mouthwashes, which made for a less painful experience as we took turns filming each other writhing under the alien virus’s influence, foaming at the mouth. Unfortunately, we had to spit the ACT into the sink—which is the only place we were allowed to spit it.

Finally, we filmed the horned melon, static and motionless. And that’s how each of our films began from then on, as Daniel announced, “Horned Melon Films presents…” Our parents laughed and laughed through their terror.

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